December 2010
1 post
When You Look Too Long Into the Abyss
The abyss thinks you are a creeper. It only looks into you when you eat bad chinese food.
Just sayin’
November 2009
1 post
Best Part About Being Stephen Harper:
He gets to eat babies, and nobody says anything because it seems so natural and right that he should. People look at him and think “Hey, now there’s a man who would eat a juicy, delicious baby.” Om nom nom.
Just sayin’
June 2009
5 posts
I Love Lazers
Light Amplified by Ztimulated Emission of Radiation makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Literally.
Just sayin’
Michael Jackson Has Kicked The Bucket
It’s autopsy time. I have several years worth of bets pending on my Pod Creature™ theory. Chop chop, now. Get with the slicing!
Just sayin’
Clinic Trip
Getting antibiotics for my throat. That’s what SHE said, but for very different reasons. See, I have laryngitis, while SHE has a nasty case of syphilis.
Just sayin’
Pants On! Pants Off!
Know how the Human Torch yells “Flame on!” to activate his powers? I wish this also worked for pants.
Just sayin’
May 2009
6 posts
When your cat compulsively rubs her face against EVERYTHING, it is unwise to leave half of an apple on the table. Not even for a minute.
Just sayin’
The holes in the boards around construction...
Are for seeing, not for peeing, you sick fuck!
Just sayin’
Ending sentences with “much?” makes one sound like a moron. Please abstain.
Just sayin’
I may be somewhat lady-like, but that hardly keeps me from enjoying a good session of shite getting blown the fuck up.
Just sayin’
Love is just a chemical reaction, like the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel is just paint-covered plaster… Only in the eyes of the cold, the bitter, and the hopeless.
Just sayin’
Public Transit Solutions
To clear a packed bus, alternate between hacking coughs, snorts, and audible oinks. You may also want to pull out a map and lick Mexico.
Just sayin’
April 2009
4 posts
Five 'People' I Want on my Side in a Bar Fight
In no particular order:
John McClane
The Terminator
The Predator
The Alien Queen
McLovin
Just sayin’
You know how Daleks exterminate? Well, I defenestrate.
Just sayin’